COURT DATE -JUNE 10th

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:19-21

Shortly after posting the last post I checked my email and there is was! The Court Date - JUNE 10th! Can you believe it? Forget trying to GUESS-timate... God has a plan and it is better than we could ever ask or imagine. His plan is perfect. In good times .. LIKE THIS!!! And what we think are the worst of times. His ways are so much better than my ways!!

Not to put a damper on the celebration here but I just have to tell you where my heart is today. I have been following a blog for the last month of an incredible family who adopted the sweetest little 3 year old girl (now 4) from Serbia in Oct of 2009. They knew adopting her that she had a severe congenital heart defect but also was very confident that God was calling to proceed with the adoption and that He was going to use her life to reach many. The incredible faith that they had that God would heal her was amazing and This is exactly what HE did... In HIS WAYS NOT OURS! Chrissie had open heart surgery in San Antonio on April 19th and NOW today Chrissie went to be with the LORD! If anyone has some time on their hands to read an incredible journey of faith and love this is where you can find...

Not sure why this all brought me back to the loss of my father. I think because it was during that time that maybe I first really came to the true understanding, submission and faith in God's sovereignty. It was when I completely had a "GOT IT" moment as to HIS WAYS ARE BETTER THAN MY WAYS and HIS THOUGHTS ARE BETTER THAN MY THOUGHTS... and I praise God for the opportunity to learn this lesson.

Chrissie's life did not end at all like her family was thinking it would, but her testimony will go on forever. I can guarantee that the number of people that have have been touched and will be touched, when they hear this testimony is....

"immeasurably more than all that could of been asked or imagined, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Update, Feelings, and Why ?

UPDATE:
No new adoption update YET... We continue to prayerfully and patiently wait for news on a court date. I would like to be able to tell you I am trying not to over think it right now by trying to guess on when we should hear something but this is not exactly true. I have searched blog after blog, read so many websites, did the math myself over and over again to try and guess-timate when we should hear something, what the court date would be and then when we would be able to travel and bring them HOME. I know that I shouldn't be doing this.. it may only lead to discouragement .. but HOW CAN I NOT? So....
The guess-timation ( FOR NOW ) is ... We are hoping to be given a court date by the end of THIS WEEK!!!!

FEELINGS:
People ask me, "Are you so excited?" I wonder, "Do they want the quick simple answer or the real "whats going on in Amy's head" answer?"
Quick answer... SO EXCITED! Hard for me to concentrate or think of anything else!
But here is just a little bit more of what really is going on in my head... Such mixed feelings..

Excited - Yes!

Nervous - completely!

A bit Anxious and even a little sad - totally!

Sad ? Does that sound like a weird one... but it is true... there is part of me that is mourning a little... mourning that the incredible thing we have going right now will be changed and never be the same. Sad that my baby (who actually is 8 yrs old) will no longer be the baby of the house. Sad that I won't have as much time to spend with the other kids, my husband or for myself. And that is just part of it...

So then someone may ask .. "WHY DO THIS THEN?"
Ohhhhhh.... and do I have so many answers for this which will have to be a separate blog of its own.. for now though, I want to share with you this video...

Peter Eide was at the Summit Conference that Mike and I went to a few weeks back.
Loved his testimony and then when he led us in worship... This is one of the songs he sang.. during it he paused a bit and said.. "Now imagine as I sing this next part, this is Jesus answering US after we asked him.. WHY? WHY ME? Why did You choose me? Why did You adopt me? "

Ephesians 1:4-6

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Amos Story - Music Video - Aaron Ivey

LOVE THIS SONG.....

Here's the words to the chorus...

I’ll find a way to get you here

If it takes my fleeting breath

Another sunrise hits the ground

And it’s a dark lonely sight

Light years away I hope you know

There is a somebody searching

For the way to get you here

I will get you here

BIG NEWS, NEW RULES, AND GENTLE REMINDERS TO STAY FOCUSED

I have been hesitant to write for a while for I have not known if what I say today will be completely different tomorrow. I am so happy to say that the more things move along now I feel the situation stabilizing a bit… so why were my emotions starting to go crazy.

I think I know why… But first let me catch you up…

Things around here have been busy. CRAZY BUSY! It was brought to our attention that the children were brought to a new orphanage. This orphanage was really new and not yet connected with any adoption agencies. We did not know if or how we were going to be able to proceed with the adoption. Finally, we received word that they found an agency to partner with them and GET THIS … The agency is based out of Minneapolis, MN., just a mere 20-25mins from our house.

Within the last few weeks we have filled out the application, had initial meetings, and interviews and have completed the entire Dossier. (A WHOLE LOT OF PAPERWORK, including the HOME-STUDY, POLICE CLEARANCE, MARRIAGE AND BIRTH CERTIFICATES, REFERRENCES AND MEDICAL RECORDS) As I type right now the Dossier is probably in Washington DC getting authenticated (whatever that means) and then should be in Ethiopia by the end of this week/early next week. Some people in the “adoption world” may refer to this as “paper pregnant” or the DTE stage (DOSSIER TO ETHIOPIA). Whatever it is, once the dossier gets to Ethiopia it will be translated and matched with the children’s documents and presented to court requesting a court date. We are hoping that they will be able to request a court date before the deadline of the NEW TRAVEL TWICE rule going into affect (May 9^th -I think).

Just within the last month or so, there have been big changes made in the Ethiopian Government regarding adoptions. Here are the NEW RULES that may be affecting us…

"Families need to be prepared to travel Approximately 4 - 8 weeks after receiving a referral to be present in Ethiopia for their appointed court date. Families will remain in Ethiopia for roughly 5-7 days and will then return to the United States after officially passing court. Families will then travel back to Ethiopia approximately 10 -12 weeks later to pick up their adopted child(ren)."

At this time, we can just sign over power of attorney over to a representative from our agency that will speak on our behalf at the court hearing. Many times it seems to take multiple attempts to pass court but as soon as court is passed the children legally become “LINDAHLS”!!! Then we just need to wait for the Embassy appointment at which time we will fly there, get their visas and bring them home.

Again, I completely understand the reasoning behind these new rules. From what I have heard, there have been quite a few cases where families have passed court, and then decided that the child that they had already legally adopted is not right for their family for some reason or another…or something happens that they never end up getting the child. Ethiopian adoptions are not reversible, and it is difficult for that child to ever have another chance to be adopted. These new rules will protect the families and the children. This is how adoptions work in Eastern Europe. The unfortunate part of this new rule, and the reason we so badly want to bypass it is…

• · It adds $5000plus to the already overwhelming cost of the adoption.
• · It requires two very long trips in a relatively short time period – which can be very difficult for child care for some families along with twice the time off of work for Mike.
• · One of the biggest issues I have with this rule is …Adoptive parents will meet their child,, hopefully start a bond with the child, and then have to leave him or her behind for months. For most of these children they already had so many people come and go from their lives and deal with such abandonment issues I am just not sure how I could do this to them.

The other change comes from the U.S. Embassy, and it will affect us no matter what. The Embassy is conducting a more thorough investigation on each and every child to ensure that the child is “adoptable.” There has been recent media allegations of misconduct in Ethiopian adoptions by a few agencies. Prior to this, families could expect to travel approximately 4-6 weeks after passing court. With this new situation it now can be up to a 10-12 WEEK WAITING PERIOD AFTER PASSING COURT.

Because I have recently been there and I am fully aware of the children’s situation, I don’t think this “investigation period” will take that long at all. Again, these rules are just in place to protect these children and the whole adoption process. Adoption is such a beautiful thing but Satan has obviously been at work wanting to corrupt the whole system and give it all such an ugly taste. These rules will hopefully take care of much of that.

As you can see we have been busy. Crazy busy with all of this, which is why I think I have been starting to feel a bit anxious at times. I am pretty much one that tells you exactly how I am feeling even if the feelings are not so glamorous so here it goes….

I start asking questions like…

What are we thinking?

Why would I want to mess with our “oh so perfect” little family?

There are a lot of other things I can think of doing with all the money that goes towards adoption not to mention the cost of raising 2 more children.

How are we going to pay for all of this?

I finally have all the children out of the house and the freedom during the day to do with what I want and this is going to majorly change that.

OR.. I can hardly handle the 4 I already have with all their laundry, activities and homework.. What am I thinking bringing two more into the picture….

What will other people think?

There’s more too.. Sleepless nights full of them…

And you know what .. Satan love those questions. He loves putting anxious thoughts and feelings of fear in our heads, and I really believe more than anything else he would love for us to back out of this all together.

When I almost feel like doing just that, I stop and I refocus. I take time and spend with GOD. And again everything becomes so clear to me. You see it is not what I was doing that was wrong.. because it is so RIGHT… it is not even that it was so time consuming and crazy but during this all consuming time .. I took my eyes off the main purpose... the One that was giving me the task at hand, the One who it is my goal to bring Glory to with all I do.

I think this was a perfect example of how easy it is for Satan to creep in and take your mind off your main purpose and goal in life. There is a saying we have within our youth group that is said a lot … “ IF SATAN CAN’T MAKE YOU BAD, HE WILL MAKE YOU BUSY.” Whatever it takes to lose focus Satan will be right there to take advantage of it. Even something so good like this adoption or maybe volunteering with CHURCH activities! WHOA… DID I SAY THAT? YEP, I did! So many times we are so busy “doing” even good that we forget about the whole RELATIONSHIP God is longing to have with us, and why we are doing the good in the first place. Maybe it is just my absent-mindedness that makes it so easy for me to get distracted even with things that are so good or starts out with the right focus in mind. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit can speak to us, even through those feelings of fear or anxiety, gently reminding us to re-focus and remember not just the task at hand or the gifts before me, but more importantly The One we do the tasks for… the GIFT GIVER Himself.

LEARNING PEACE ON THE ROLLERCOASTER!

When I was younger I use to love them. The anticipation as you slowly creep to the top followed by the thrill and speed of the vertical drop was so awesome. Now that I am a bit older I can’t tolerate them as much due to the extreme motion sickness and nausea that follows for hours afterwards. Have to admit, I feel like I have been on a VICOUS NON-STOP ROLLERCOASTER RIDE the last few months.

I have been searching my heart and wondering if some of it has to do with me not being able to completely let go, surrender all to GOD and TRUST HIM completely.

If I really trusted that His Will is perfect and He knows what is best for us and that HE is in control, couldn’t I just totally let go and enjoy the ride just a bit more. I know I look back on the blog and read what I have previously written. It all is true and honest thoughts but STILL I let the emotions, anxiousness, worry and “motion sickness” creep in. As much as some want to make excuses and say we are human and anybody would feel the same way if they went through all of this. I’m not falling for that. Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." (LUKE 18:27) It is not impossible to completely let go and believe in whatever situation you are in GOD is in control and He knows what is best… that is when…

7The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will come into play and surpass everything else and will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus.

The problem is we think this “peace” is supposed to be automatic. We forget about the verses before hand that we are suppose to do to receive this peace…

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Or the verses afterwards…

8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:6-8)

I have a tendency to get anxious about what is going to happen next. I want to know exactly what is going on and even plan it out. I guess I have a bit of a control issue. I need to have more FAITH and to realize I am NOT in control … BUT HE IS. Truthfully even though it is hard for me not to know the ending, I am thankful that God has brought us here and chose to use us in this manner... whatever that may be. When that really happens, when we truly come to grip with the TRUTH, this is when you start to just sit back and actually ENJOY the ROLLERCOASTER RIDE! Wheeeee!!!!

This whole thing reminded me of a movie I watched in a SocialWork class in college. Parenthood with Steve Martin…. HERE is one of the scenes…

Looking back on all my previous posts you can tell this is a constant battle within my head. There are times I want to GET OFF, at least this part of the RIDE! But I cannot give up, not until God clearly leads us down a different road (which he very well may do). Until then I will learn to WALK BY FAITH NOT BY SIGHT(IICORITHIANS 5:7). God never promised this journey to be easy, probably because there are so many lessons to learn along the way and over all the bumps.

Throughout scripture there is talk about orphans… the fatherless, the poverty stricken. But scripture also refers to US as once orphans. Not knowing OF our Heavenly father or being part of the Family of GOD. I keep thinking that when I was orphaned or even now when I am lost and go my own way.. God never gives up on me. He constantly is pursuing us… Like a shepherd who has lost one of his sheep, he would never think of going home for the night without finding it.

That’s how I feel right now. Until the doors before me are completely closed or until God clearly directs us in another direction… I feel I have no other choice but to persevere, to stand steadfast. (no matter how motion sick I may get from time to time).

THE BATTLE...

The flesh says…

Things are not good; in fact they are pretty much a complete mess. They have not gone my way. It is not fair. I was trying to do good and be obedient to the call but maybe it was all wrong!

The spirit says…

Be still. Have peace. Things are just as He knew they would be. He grieves more than we do. He loves them more than we do. He is in control. All things will work out together for the good, even this. He has amazing plans for me… amazing and perfect… this is just a small part of the journey. Just wait and see what is around the corner!!!

This battle is a constant one that is being fought in my head…. But then as if I actually can hear the trumpets blow… I know without a doubt I HAVE ALREADY WON…

VICTORY IS MINE SAYS THE LORD!

THE BATTLE IS ALREADY OVER!

THOUGH MY HEART IS BROKEN RIGHT NOW.. I DO HAVE VICTORY !!

FOR YOU SEE….

This battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Ephesians 6:11-13

SO What am I going to do…

I am going to get ready. I am going to armor up. I am going to plant my feet on solid ground and I will be able to withstand whatever Satan has next up his feeble wimpy sleeve. FOR VICTORY IS MINE! DEATH WHERE IS THOU STING????

Thank you, Jesus for winning the ultimate battle for us already so we can rejoice even in the hardest of times and the worst of days.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES...

"Once our eyes are opened

we can't pretend we don't know what to do.

God, who weighs our hearts

and keeps our souls,

knows that we know and

holds us responsible to act."

Proverbs 24:12

So many times I have started to put all that is happening down on paper and I just could not figure out just how to explain everything, but I have decided I just need to do this… ONE because I want as many people praying for this situation as possible and TWO I think it is selfish of me not to allow others to be apart of this journey with us. It has been an amazing journey of growth, faith and relying on GOD.

The above verse explains a lot of what is going on in my heart right now but that is still just part of it.

What started out, as what I thought was God’s calling for me to be a voice for those who cannot speak for themselves, and starting an orphan care ministry of some sort has taken so many twists and turns in the last few months. I know that that calling it is still there but we are also open to wherever else He wants to lead us. This turned into a call for me to actually go to Africa, which turned out to not be at all what I thought it was going to be. I questioned God and His plan but grew tremendously in trust and faith. I know that not only did he have a plan but, His plan and will is actually really good, pleasing, in fact… perfect. I keep going back to the wise advice I got from a friend a few years ago as we were making some decisions in our lives. She said, “It is not about the destination, or final decision but more about the actual journey of getting there.” The word that keeps coming to my mind over and over again is SUBMISSION. If we say, “Here I am God use me!” We have to be ready for Him to use us in whatever way it is He wants to. We cannot say, “Here I am God use me in this neat and tidy ministry or way that I have planned out in my mind that will fit so perfectly into MY LIFE and MY PLANS.” God wants all of us. He wants full submission to Him. He wants us to realize that our sole purpose on this earth is for HIM, to bring Him glory. This life I am living, it is not my own.

Now, I cannot tell you that I know just how this particular journey is even going to end up, and I am really ok with that. We are on the journey that God has brought us on. I know He will lead us in the direction He wants us to go and in His timing, if we just continue to seek Him and His will above all else.

THE JOURNEY..

While looking into orphan care ministry and the possibility of getting involved with this particular ministry…IT HAPPENED. Two particular children caught our eyes and stole our hearts. I know it sounds weird but when I look at them, especially the oldest sibling there is something so familiar about her to me.

They are actually the two children that I spoke of in a previous blog, who I got to go out to the village and visit. You see, the problem right now is that the orphanage that they were with originally, has had some problems and is not licensed at this time. For some reason, some of the children where brought back to their villages until things could be sorted out. Which at the time seemed like a horrible thing, but now I can see God’s hand in it and this very situation allows them to be able to continue on the process of finding a forever family.

We did not know what the situation was going to be like with the orphanage and wanted to have as much in order on our part before I left on the trip. We expedited our home study and did as much as we could before leaving. Before going and even while there I kept trying to tell myself to keep the two things separate…the ministry and the adoption of these children, but they kind of go hand in hand also.

Going to visit them was an amazing experience but heart wrenching at the same time. Their conditions were not good at all. Previously they were living with a Grandma, who has since passed away. I so badly wanted to scoop them up and bring them home with me. I think the only thing that allowed me to leave them behind as I walked away was the thought that the license was going to come soon and they would not have to be there much longer. That was now 3 weeks ago. My heart aches.

Before I left I was able to give some money to one of the locals there to bring out some supplies for them. I received an email at the beginning of the week that he was able to bring them mattresses to sleep on along with a blanket, sheets, food and some vitamins...

But now last night I received another email wondering if I got the pictures he had sent and saying that he was really concerned about their health. I knew this already; due to when I saw them it was obvious they were not doing well. The photos I saw previously of her, her eyes were so bright and beautiful. They just sparkled. But now they seemed lifeless and tired. Malnutrition was an obvious problem, they were both just so skinny and her with a very extended abdomen.

THE ONE REASSURING THOUGHT in this situation is the very FACT that OUR Heavenly Father is in control. And I know, He loves those children even more than we do.

What NEXT?...

Please join me in PRAYER in giving it all over to the LORD and that whatever we do, or whatever happens we seek GOD and HIS WAYS and HIS WILL above everything else. Nothing else matters if God is not the center of it. We need to make sure we are doing this for His glory and the way that He directs us to go. IF that is being done, than what amazing PEACE we shall have that His good, pleasing and perfect WILL, will be done. HIS WILL BE DONE... NOT OURS!!!

I am thankful that God has brought us on this journey and I know he has directed us to these particular two children for a reason. But I also am fully aware that the two children also represent the millions… YES MILLIONS, of children out there in their same, or worse situations. Too many times we sit in our comfy homes and lifestyles and think there is nothing that we can do about it, which is just what Satan wants you to believe. Not everyone may be called to go to Africa, or drawn to any particular orphan, or called to adopt. But if you are a follower of Christ you are called to care for the orphans and widows of this world in some way.

Until God closes the doors and directs us another way I believe we are to be steadfast on the journey he has brought us on. The Government could issue the license to the original orphanage or the children could be brought to a different orphanage and adopted from there, which I know is being worked on right now. Please pray for protection and a healing touch particularly for these two little precious lives. Pray that if there is something more in the meantime we are to do that He directs us and opens those doors for that. And pray that we continue to learn and have complete submission and peace with whatever God has come to be.