Wednesday, April 21, 2010

BIG NEWS, NEW RULES, AND GENTLE REMINDERS TO STAY FOCUSED

I have been hesitant to write for a while for I have not known if what I say today will be completely different tomorrow. I am so happy to say that the more things move along now I feel the situation stabilizing a bit… so why were my emotions starting to go crazy.

I think I know why… But first let me catch you up…

Things around here have been busy. CRAZY BUSY! It was brought to our attention that the children were brought to a new orphanage. This orphanage was really new and not yet connected with any adoption agencies. We did not know if or how we were going to be able to proceed with the adoption. Finally, we received word that they found an agency to partner with them and GET THIS … The agency is based out of Minneapolis, MN., just a mere 20-25mins from our house.

Within the last few weeks we have filled out the application, had initial meetings, and interviews and have completed the entire Dossier. (A WHOLE LOT OF PAPERWORK, including the HOME-STUDY, POLICE CLEARANCE, MARRIAGE AND BIRTH CERTIFICATES, REFERRENCES AND MEDICAL RECORDS) As I type right now the Dossier is probably in Washington DC getting authenticated (whatever that means) and then should be in Ethiopia by the end of this week/early next week. Some people in the “adoption world” may refer to this as “paper pregnant” or the DTE stage (DOSSIER TO ETHIOPIA). Whatever it is, once the dossier gets to Ethiopia it will be translated and matched with the children’s documents and presented to court requesting a court date. We are hoping that they will be able to request a court date before the deadline of the NEW TRAVEL TWICE rule going into affect (May 9th -I think).

Just within the last month or so, there have been big changes made in the Ethiopian Government regarding adoptions. Here are the NEW RULES that may be affecting us…

"Families need to be prepared to travel Approximately 4 - 8 weeks after receiving a referral to be present in Ethiopia for their appointed court date. Families will remain in Ethiopia for roughly 5-7 days and will then return to the United States after officially passing court. Families will then travel back to Ethiopia approximately 10 -12 weeks later to pick up their adopted child(ren)."

At this time, we can just sign over power of attorney over to a representative from our agency that will speak on our behalf at the court hearing. Many times it seems to take multiple attempts to pass court but as soon as court is passed the children legally become “LINDAHLS”!!! Then we just need to wait for the Embassy appointment at which time we will fly there, get their visas and bring them home.

Again, I completely understand the reasoning behind these new rules. From what I have heard, there have been quite a few cases where families have passed court, and then decided that the child that they had already legally adopted is not right for their family for some reason or another…or something happens that they never end up getting the child. Ethiopian adoptions are not reversible, and it is difficult for that child to ever have another chance to be adopted. These new rules will protect the families and the children. This is how adoptions work in Eastern Europe. The unfortunate part of this new rule, and the reason we so badly want to bypass it is…

  • · It adds $5000plus to the already overwhelming cost of the adoption.
  • · It requires two very long trips in a relatively short time period – which can be very difficult for child care for some families along with twice the time off of work for Mike.
  • · One of the biggest issues I have with this rule is …Adoptive parents will meet their child,, hopefully start a bond with the child, and then have to leave him or her behind for months. For most of these children they already had so many people come and go from their lives and deal with such abandonment issues I am just not sure how I could do this to them.

The other change comes from the U.S. Embassy, and it will affect us no matter what. The Embassy is conducting a more thorough investigation on each and every child to ensure that the child is “adoptable.” There has been recent media allegations of misconduct in Ethiopian adoptions by a few agencies. Prior to this, families could expect to travel approximately 4-6 weeks after passing court. With this new situation it now can be up to a 10-12 WEEK WAITING PERIOD AFTER PASSING COURT.

Because I have recently been there and I am fully aware of the children’s situation, I don’t think this “investigation period” will take that long at all. Again, these rules are just in place to protect these children and the whole adoption process. Adoption is such a beautiful thing but Satan has obviously been at work wanting to corrupt the whole system and give it all such an ugly taste. These rules will hopefully take care of much of that.

As you can see we have been busy. Crazy busy with all of this, which is why I think I have been starting to feel a bit anxious at times. I am pretty much one that tells you exactly how I am feeling even if the feelings are not so glamorous so here it goes….

I start asking questions like…

What are we thinking?

Why would I want to mess with our “oh so perfect” little family?

There are a lot of other things I can think of doing with all the money that goes towards adoption not to mention the cost of raising 2 more children.

How are we going to pay for all of this?

I finally have all the children out of the house and the freedom during the day to do with what I want and this is going to majorly change that.

OR.. I can hardly handle the 4 I already have with all their laundry, activities and homework.. What am I thinking bringing two more into the picture….

What will other people think?

There’s more too.. Sleepless nights full of them…

And you know what .. Satan love those questions. He loves putting anxious thoughts and feelings of fear in our heads, and I really believe more than anything else he would love for us to back out of this all together.

When I almost feel like doing just that, I stop and I refocus. I take time and spend with GOD. And again everything becomes so clear to me. You see it is not what I was doing that was wrong.. because it is so RIGHT… it is not even that it was so time consuming and crazy but during this all consuming time .. I took my eyes off the main purpose... the One that was giving me the task at hand, the One who it is my goal to bring Glory to with all I do.

I think this was a perfect example of how easy it is for Satan to creep in and take your mind off your main purpose and goal in life. There is a saying we have within our youth group that is said a lot … “ IF SATAN CAN’T MAKE YOU BAD, HE WILL MAKE YOU BUSY.” Whatever it takes to lose focus Satan will be right there to take advantage of it. Even something so good like this adoption or maybe volunteering with CHURCH activities! WHOA… DID I SAY THAT? YEP, I did! So many times we are so busy “doing” even good that we forget about the whole RELATIONSHIP God is longing to have with us, and why we are doing the good in the first place. Maybe it is just my absent-mindedness that makes it so easy for me to get distracted even with things that are so good or starts out with the right focus in mind. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit can speak to us, even through those feelings of fear or anxiety, gently reminding us to re-focus and remember not just the task at hand or the gifts before me, but more importantly The One we do the tasks for… the GIFT GIVER Himself.

1 comment:

Katie Addington said...

Hang in there! I love that you are pressing so hard into this. I heard someone say once, "Adoption is at the center of God's heart, but it will break your own!" I love you, I can't wait to meet your two beautiful new babies, and hopefully someday I will have my own international family to bring visiting! Love you lots!!!