... all the TIME!!!

The Lord is good.... all the time!

We are also doing good! Really we are ! We are not going to let Satan get us down. While some of you have called or swung by and caught me on a "not so good" moment we really are hanging in there. Sure I can cry quite easily these days but we have such amazing PEACE that all is going to work out! I seriously have nothing to complain about. A postponed court date is not a closed door just a little further journey to get to the next step. Who am I to complain? After all the author of the story really knows what He is writing and I feel so blessed to be apart of it!

We have been busy getting ready for a SHOWER/ FUNDRAISER here on Monday night! I am sooo excited about this. I love the quote from the interview previously posted, "Adoption is not the period at the end of the sentence for us." This is totally how I feel. I know this adoption is but one part of something so much bigger. The "Shower" for the orphanage our children are at, is one way to bring awareness and allow others to be apart of this journey with us. If any friends or family that have not yet heard about this but would like to swing by we would love to have you!

The Lord is good .. all the TIME!!!

COURT DATE RESCHEDULED JUNE 29th!

It is times like these that hurt so bad and you cry out .. WHY? ... wanting so badly to be able to do SOMETHING!!! ... All the while needing to sit back and TRUST..

OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!!! HE IS DOING "SOMETHING" RIGHT NOW...

even though we do not know what exactly that could be... we need to TRUST AND BELIEVE it is good... even better than we could ever imagine!!!!!!

Still the tears flow!!!!!

# 1

Actually, LESS THAN......

PLEASE BE IN PRAYER!!! Our case will be heard in the Ethiopian Courts in less than 24hours. Tonight as we are sleeping so many things have to come together and the judge will be making a decision whether we will be the forever parents of these two precious children. We have heard that there usually is a 50% chance that you pass court the first time. Please pray that the Lord directs All and His will will be done!!! May He be glorified with whatever happens!!!!

2

3 - Labor Pains????

Labor Pains are kicking in!!!!!! Coming off such a busy weekend into a crazy busy week and I am starting to feel the anxiety and stress kick in. I initially missed number 4 of the count down and was not going to post today either until a got the sweetest call from my husband letting me know I missed yesterday and that today WAS #3!!! Yes - Mr. "Not so sure about this Blog thing" himself. Can I just say... that I may be feeling the crunch and labor pains of the upcoming events but I have the best coach and partner ever to stick through all of this with me .. thick or thin!!! He was incredible during the delivery of all 4 kids, and although this is a different kind of labor there is no one I would rather have by my side at this time!!! LOVE YA HONEY!!!! THREE IT IS!!!!

4

5

That’s right I can now count on one hand the number of days till our court date!!

I have to admit I’m having a hard day today though. I don’t know why. Maybe the cloudy rainy day is getting to me but yet I actually kind of like rainy days that make us all stay inside together and even get some projects done. Maybe it is the time of year where there is so much going on and I feel like there is no slowing down to really even think. The older two had a car wash this morning to raise money for a youth conference they are going to this summer and the little girls have dance recital this whole weekend. But really all those things are not that overwhelmingly busy and even with all that’s going on I don’t think that is the reason for my blues.

You would think I would be jumping for joy that the court date is just around the corner, but actually, I think I am starting to feel a bit overwhelmed and stressed, and a little on our own here, which ultimately is ok. The thing is, you know when you are so passionate and excited about something and totally want to make the most of every opportunity, yet everyone around you is also soooo busy and have so many other things going on in their own lives that they too are excited and passionate about. I absolutely do not want to be self-centered or make this at all about ME! Yet I do intensely desire to spread the passion and deep burden to care for all the orphans throughout the world and not miss out on taking full advantage of the opportunities God is laying before us.

Mike and I are really considering traveling at the end of the month. That is IF… (I so badly want to say WHEN) we pass court. We are talking about leaving 3 weeks from today. OK.. so I guess that kind of explains the stress and blues a little. Trying to wrap up the four kids end of the year activities, plan their summer events, clean the house top to bottom because who knows when I will have time to do it again, buy beds, car seats and whatever else is needed when we return I guess could stress the normal person out just a bit. After meeting our children, Mike would only stay a week and then return on his own. I would then stay until we get an embassy date and can bring the children home.

I fully admit I am NOT an organized, task orientated person. Right now there are like a million things I know I should be doing but I almost feel paralyzed and do not even know where to begin and even the littlest things seem like huge tasks.

On top of everything I so badly want to help meet some of the needs that the orphanage the children are at has right now. It is just a new orphanage and the two men who started it are really amazing godly men. Mike kind of gets frustrated with me because he sees my desires and passions AND MY FRUSTRATIONS. He also knows the needs but is so wise with knowing our limits. Sometimes I feel like that is a bad thing but really he is so wise. There really is so much to be done just preparing for the kids to come home. Finances are tight right now with all the expenses of the adoption and travel expenses alone. I know I cannot expect everyone to have the same desires and passion that I have either. I have to keep reminding myself that God really does not NEED ME to do anything. If he wanted to use me to do something for the orphanage than it would be clear just how to go about doing that. If he wanted others to get on board with this mission too, He would impress it on their hearts just like He has mine. For now, I just need to keep on plugging along and getting ready for what is ahead and what I am capable of doing. Everything else will fall into place.

6

Yeah , Thats right we are on SIX! SIX more days…

Actually, THE NUMBER SIX is pretty significant. Do you realize that in SIX more days there is a pretty good possibility that I could be a parent to SIX children? 6 !!!! WOW! What an amazing blessing! One of the main comments I get when people find out we are adopting is ... WOW, Aren’t those children so lucky to be adopted into your family OR they are such lucky kids? But truthfully … WE ARE THE ONES THAT ARE THE LUCKY ONES? We are so amazingly blessed that God chose us to open our eyes and bring us on this journey. I think the impact that this journey has or will have on our family cannot even compare. I read about an interview with another adoptive family in Lakeville who actually go to church with my mom. It was part of something else that was posted on the Christian Alliance Blog but I loved what they had to say because it sums up exactly how I feel…

…The couple already had five children, the youngest ten, and had been anticipating the freedom of an empty nest. But on a mission trip to Africa, a concern for orphans budded into a sense of calling to adoption. A year and a half ago, they adopted two boys from Uganda, 3-year-old Phillip and 4-year-old Zachary.

Lisa Harding expresses what I’ve heard from so many adoptive parents in recent years: that the desire God stirred in them to care for orphans has most definitely not reached its completion in the adoption. Rather, they see adoption as one part of a life-long call to live out James 1:27. Speaking of their plans to attend Summit, Lisa expressed, “I’m excited about refueling what’s already a passion in us because this is not a period at the end of a sentence now that Philip and Zachary are in our house. Now, it’s what’s next?”

Just as significant, Harding’s words at the end of the interview capture the power of God’s intent in adoption and orphan care. It isn’t just about rescuing orphans; it is about rescuing self-absorbed Christian adults as well. Caring for orphans is a journey of root-level discipleship, because love for orphans transforms. As Lisa Harding concluded, “People have said, ‘Oh, aren’t they lucky, you rescued them from whatever. And I think, Are you kidding? I’m the lucky one. I get to be their mom. And I get to be daily rescued from my selfishness, and my impatience, and things that are just as disease-ridden in my soul.”

OH LORD, THANK YOU FOR THIS OPPORTUNITY AHEAD OF US !!! WOW, IN JUST SIX MORE DAYS …. I GET TO BE THE MOM OF TWO MORE PRECIOUS LIVES THAT GOD CREATED AND LOVES!!!!

Thank you JESUS! Thank you Thank you Lord!!!

7

Eight...

EIGHT MORE DAYS !!!!!!

Trying to prepare myself to NOT pass court the first time but it really is not working to well. I read from one agency that there is a 50% chance of passing the first time. Why is that hard to believe? I can not imagine not passing for some reason.. although I know it is possible and I have heard of plenty of people who don't! Whatever happens... God is in control.. such amazing peace knowing that and really being able to rely on it daily!!

* There have been some of you asking about PICTURES of the kids! Don't worry, we have plenty. Just got new ones a few days ago and they look so much happier and healthier than they did in February. I can not wait to be able to post them but we are not allowed to until we pass court which, by the way.... IS IN EIGHT MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!

AND THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN...

Ten… Nine….
Still time to back out!
Though true .. we are not going to! But I do want to be open and honest. I am all about speaking from the heart… saying it how it is…. Calling a spade a spade,… Not running from the truth... I never want to candy coat things or make a person believe or see something that is not really there. Sometimes I think, especially Christians, want to act like they have it all together and want to look like life is just perfect but on the inside it is far from the truth.. What good is that for those around us? How does that benefit others who may be feeling the same way?

The truth is I am a bit scared. Scared about what this is going to do to our family. Scared that I am not a good enough parent already and now I am taking 2 more in. Scared that my biological kids already look at me like I have no clue what I am doing raising them… and I think what if they are right? What if I am not cut out for this, what if I won’t be able to keep up? What if we have major attachment problems?

Thoughts of backing out do cross my mind. The truth is I know that adoption may not be easy. Especially when you are adopting older children that have already experienced trauma in their lives. I think it is wise for us to be prepared for the challenges ahead so we have gone to seminars. We have read books, not to mention the many, many blogs that I have read on attachment disorders. Not sure if I feel more prepared at this time or just completely freaked out and wonder WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE WE GETTING OURSELVES INTO?

But this is what I go back to …
Scripturally there is such a conviction in my heart that this is what we are to do. OUR LIVES ARE NOT OUR OWN!!! This is not all about us! I think I would feel so disobedient if I did not do this right now. If someone wants to convince me that I am wrong, please do so.
Is this for everyone… NO!
But, I am convinced it is what God is calling US to do.

So why ? Why do I feel so strongly about this… here is just a few reasons…

1. James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world
2. Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. You know what Christ did for me? He adopted me. He swept me up and made me apart of the most ROYAL FAMILY EVER.
3. Matt. 25:40 – The King will reply, “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”
4. We have room in our house and in our hearts. We have been given so much. And we believe it all comes from Him. It is not our own to do with as we please. How does He want us to use His things?
5. If someone said they loved me with all their heart and then saw one of my children hurting, alone, fatherless and could do something about it but didn’t I don’t know if I would truly believe if they loved me as much as they said they did.
6. James 4:17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
7. Ephesians 5:16 Use every chance you have for doing good.
8. If I claim my goal is to be like Christ then I not only want HIS EYES to see with but also HIS HEART.. and HIS HANDS. I love the song…

Hosanna…

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like YOU have loved me

BREAK MY HEART FOR WHAT BREAKS YOURS

Everything I am for Your Kindom’s cause

As I walk from earth into eternity.

And then the “Why Nots”…

Honestly, I start to make a list of all the “Why Nots” and every single one of them end up being such selfish reasons... so I stop and reflect on the WHYS that He has put on our hearts!!!