I have always thought the Disney Movie, Alice in Wonderland, was one of the creepiest shows for some reason. Now, I find myself relating to a part of the story.
Today I kept having visions of doors; doors upon doors: so many doors… And me standing there not knowing which one to choose.
I find myself desperately seeking... Which one is the right door for me? So many doors I think are the right one… I try to open it but it ends up being locked. Again… Seeking, Seeking, knocking, knocking… Finally, I find it!! I choose the right door!! It’s the door that was meant for me to go through all along!! BUT, on the other side of that door all I find is pain and anguish and many more doors to choose from. I question… Really? Is this where I was supposed to be... maybe I chose wrong… then, amongst the pain and anguish as I approach the next door ahead of me, I experience an astounding thing. I feel just a bit stronger than I had before, just a bit wiser too… Oh and the desire to press on is so great. I know that I cannot stop this journey.
Sometimes I desire a locked door so bad. I know it is the one for me, but why is it locked? Maybe I could force it open… but its not possible. Isn’t this MY LIFE! Can’t I make the decisions where I want to go, and what I want to do... then something inside me, reminds me this is bigger then just ME. Keep on going!
The same thing happens over and over again… Seeking, Knocking, Finding… Door after door!!! Not all doors are the same… OH, some are so good! I love what I find… It’s like just a little taste of what I have been seeking all along. The taste only fuels the hunger that I have, to open the next door and seek what it is I am really looking for.
Some rooms are literally like someone had left a perfect sweet little present for me to enjoy for that time. It was just what I needed. I find myself giving thanks and being replenished for the journey ahead.
Then there are some rooms that are so comfortable I find myself wanting to stay there and just enjoy the peace of that room... Sometimes I stay too long.. I begin to forget what brought me there in the first place… what was it I was seeking in the first place?.. I see the doors in front of me... why are they there? They are calling to me? Do I really want to hear them? Can’t I just stay here where I am? I know if I continue on the journey the next door might not be as comfortable as this one.. it actually might even be a little painful… really painful. I am afraid. And then again like someone knew just what I needed at that very moment… I am overcome with peace… I do not feel alone… I am reminded of my purpose. There is no doubt in my mind that if I just keep on knocking and I keep on seeking, when I reach that final door everything will make sense, it will be like none other! SO ON I GO!!!
"Keep on asking and it will be given to you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8
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