We drove from Addis south to Soddo today. What I thought may be a 4 hour drive was probably close to 6. And we are not talking about a nice leisurely drive through the countryside. It was the type of drive where you hold on and look forward the whole time. If you are at all prone to any type of motion sickness you are probably a bit helpless. It was not necessarily because of the condition of the roads either but rather the way that they drive on them. The horn is not at all reserved for emergencies or disgruntle drivers but as a constant warning to anyone or thing ahead saying here we come… MOVE!!! Swerving around not only all the people that are walking for miles with water buckets on their backs, but the livestock seem also to think that they have priority above any none living thing with wheels and a loud noise maker. The lines down the middle of the road also mean nothing; Needless to say it was an interesting trip.
Sitting next to me was a young local who has been working for Michelle. It was obvious he was not really excited to be forced to travel and stay in Soddo. But I made it my goal to get to know him and get him talking. “HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED TWENTY QUESTIONS?” Thankfully language was only a selective barrier for him... That and the cell phone that seemed to be connected to his ear. I told him that in America, I know people sometime pretend to talk on the phone to avoid having to talk to someone next to them and asked him if that was just an American thing. He laughed, the ice was broken and the rest of the conversation went well. He was a super nice guy and it was great getting to know him a bit. At one point he mentioned how easy it was to communicate with me and was questioning why he has never been able to do the same with some others. Everything was going great until I blew it by pulling out my I-touch. Dawit loved it and it won over conversation with me the rest of the trip. … Imagine that?!?!?!
We finally arrived at the orphanage and I was rather shaky with excitement to meet the kids. I had the videotape rolling. As we entered the building the sweet children were singing a welcome song. "HOLD YOUR HEART, AMY… HOLD YOUR HEART!!!" I had seen pictures of all the kids previously but pictures do not really do it justice. To see these faces that I have been looking at, praying for, for sometime was amazing. I scanned the group for 2 particular ones that had stolen my heart before coming on the trip but they were not there. At first I was waiting for them to come in from the other room but they never did. My heart began to sink. I was confused and worried.
Right away Michelle said we could not stay but had to get to the market. The market only happened on saturdays so if we missed it today we would not have gotten that experience. Michelle also had some items in mind that she really wanted to purchase and knew the market was the place to do so. NOW.. I have been on mission trips before. I have experienced third world countries. But for some reason this experience was a bit overwhelming for me. Maybe I was still recovering from the drive, or a bit emotional from not seeing the particular children. Maybe it would of been a lot easier if I had some warning of what we were doing or what to expect. As it was, I felt a bit lost and overwhelmed at all that was going on. Trying to keep up with Michelle as she scurried through the mass crowd was one thing.
On our previous trip to Ethiopia we had gone towards the North to cities like Lalibella, Axum, and Mekelle. On that trip we had of course seen beggars on the sides of the roads and had some little ones from time to time come up to you and ask you for money. Maybe the most invasive thing was the people trying to sell things to the point of sticking their hands in the window and not understanding or giving into the first few "No, Thank Yous." But this was completely different. I am not sure if they were more aggressive in there asking for handouts or if there was just so many more of them but again it was a bit overwhelming. I learned that I needed to try and keep my distance from Michelle without losing her, for she was shopping and spending money and as soon as they get word a "ferengie" was spending money it was nuts. Then when it was time to leave the young ones were trying to grab your stuff from you to help you carry it ... at least then they were trying to work for the money but there still was no sight of the "Minnesota nice" way of asking if they could help.. Instead the way they communicated their willingness (??)was to grab your items from you and start walking away with it.
The other thing was the NANNIES who were just sitting there watching the children get these new items. I know they were happy for them but I also could sense their human desires and needs and them saying "what about me?" At one point when Michelle was out of the room I was asked by some of the nannies if there was something for them.. "I said Oh yes.. we can check with Michelle." in which they talked amongst each other which I could not understand and then said "No, Michelle .. You give to us." "Ahhhhh.. What do I do now?" I felt so bad.
After everything was packed up, brought outside it was getting late and the kids were brought inside to go to bed. We waited outside for the guys to come and pick us up and go to the next place that Michelle wanted to go to while there still was some light. Here is where I learned how Ethiopian time is so different then that of the US. Michelle called them and said how important it was for her to see the site she wanted to when there still was some light. They said there were on the way. Seriously, 45 min later, they were called again and they said they were almost there, probably another 45 min later and finally they came. I really do not know the exact timing but I do know how tired, hungry and emotional I was. It was dark by the time they arrived, we still went to the location and tried to see what we could see and then headed to the hotel we were going to be staying at the next few nights.
I will describe the room to you another time. For now I will just describe my breaking moment. I got into the room and it happened. First I have to tell you about the other Angel God sent to me. His name is Scott, a missions pastor from Michelle’s church who is here just for a quick visit on his way home from Rwanda. He was one of those big guys who has the softest mannerisms but you can just tell he is full of so much knowledge and wisdom. He gets me, my sense of humor (which I presently had lost), and is easy to talk to when there ever is time to do so. He knocked on my door to tell me they were all going to head out to find a bite to eat. “A bite to eat????” I thought… It felt like it was 3 in the morning, which it isn’t but I am dead. I looked at him and could not hold it in any longer. He must of thought I was nuts. I think I even said, “I want to go home,” in the midst of the breakdown. There is more to what is going on, in which I am not sharing, just know that nothing was or is as I expected it to be. Granola bars and bottled water sounded like the ideal diner tonight. So I told them to go and I just want to get a good night sleep and start new in the morning.
** Reflection: WOW! Looking back on all of that now I seriously can see God’s hand in it. It was not suppose to go as I had planned or thought out. It was not about my agenda or me. It was almost like, maybe even exactly like, God needed to bring me half way across the world just to break me and teach me about HIS COMPLETE SOVERIGNTY!! I love that lesson. I really do, however painful the experiences are for me to go through I would do it again and again to be able to grow and learn what God wants to teach me. After going through all we did with my father’s illness and death I always said the one lesson I learned was about God’s sovereignty. I prayed that whole time, “God, you know the desires of our hearts but we submit to your will.” Being able to trust and believe that God was not only in control but His plan was BEST for all of us was huge. Submitting to God’s will was such a huge lesson to learn. Guess I needed to learn more. For some reason that situation seemed different than this. I cannot even describe exactly why, but it just seemed like an isolated huge situation or event that we had time to process and get our minds wrapped around. This however did not just seem like a single event.. After all.. I knew that GOD wanted me to go on that trip. I was being obedient just by going.. Wasn’t I? But GOD wanted more! He wanted to teach me more… like submitting to God’s sovereignty and will does not just have to do with the major decisions and events in our lifes. It has to do with everyday, minute, and second we live. Relying on the fact that God is in complete control and if we do our part and seek after Him with all our heart than everything that happens and every situation we are in we can have complete PEACE, for if God did not want it to happen that way it would be different.
I am honored that God would think so much of me, that He not only knew what needed to happen to me in order to teach me these things but then He actually did it. (Honored or ashamed that He had to go to such great lengths to get it through my thick skull. ;-)) He brought me half way across the world, away from any thing and anyone I could turn to, to break me down in order to teach me these things. THE LORD IS GOOD!!!
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